Follow-Up with Gaslighting

Greeting me this morning, an email from VQ, attempting to gaslight me.  I am including the original text here for anyone that may be looking for just the right example of what this looks like in the workplace.

The email ...

I am not sure what I said to cause that reaction earlier today, but that was not my intention.  While you were showing me the [report], it came to mind that we needed to change the criteria on the [other displays] to match our compliance rules.  I know that report was originally requested by VHT early 2023 and I really didn’t know much about [the report] at that time and we hadn’t set the compliance rules.  My comments today were just an update that I’d be sending a request to change the report to match the compliance rules. 

The change I mentioned today and the request [my minion] sent for the [other] report (per the request of the STeam and report owners) have both caused negative reactions that I wasn’t expecting or intending.  I was told to always send our requests to you, but if there is a different process we should follow, please let me know.  The compliance rules and reporting to support our quality measures is an on-going evolution and changes will continue to be needed as things evolve.  I would like us to be partners on these changes.  Let me know how you’d like to receive these requests in the future.

I forwarded this message along to my direct report, with a simple comment, "For the record, this is gaslighting and equally as unwelcome as her bullying."

I do not have to put up with this kind of thing out of anyone.  I absolutely hated working at DST, and ultimately left that place, because it was a morass of this sort of behavior.

Even when I was teaching, I was not subjected to this sort of nonsense.